How your friends opinions make them your worst enemies?
When starting a business, it’s a great idea to get friends opinions and surround yourself with people that can give you support. This can be from family, friends or colleagues or people less connected, like a business mentor. The natural choice is always those closest to you as their opinions are trusted and you can rely on them to be there for you.
Your closest friends and family can be honest with you and allow you to keep your feet on the ground. When you have those ‘crazy’ grandiose ideas, they are there to bring you back to reality, so you don’t make a fool out of yourself.
Now, this last point is quite interesting as it is the fundamental basis of this post.
When you decide to start your own business, there are often a number of changes you need to make. You have decided that you are no longer happy with how things are and therefore want to take the necessary action and make the required changes to start your business. The very fact that you have to make a conscious decision to make a change suggests that you have been in a situation that has become normal for you and also, often one that is on the whole acceptable to your immediate social circle. This acceptance of your immediate social circle is one of the main issues that can hold you back from making the changes you want to build a home business.
It’s thought that you fear change. However, a more accurate description is you find discomfort in change. A new business is full of changes and it’s the associated discomfort along with the negativity from your friends opinions that can very easily stop you from progressing with your plans.
On the whole this is not a conscious thought process. It is the subconscious mind that processes the information and so your friends opinions and reactions you get are not on the whole offensive or intentionally negative. On the surface they are not, but you must however look at the context and underlying situation to fully understand what is going on.
To illustrate this, let’s look at a very common situation. Imagine you are in a restaurant with friends and have just finished a great meal. The waiter offers the desert menu and the obvious best choice is a rich creamy cheesecake.
You say that we would love to have the cheesecake, but really shouldn’t. Your friends immediately reply with things like; ‘oh go on, treat yourself’ and ‘we’re all having one, we’re all together’ etc. You then reply that we shouldn’t because we are cutting back on rich, fatty foods in order to lose some weight. The response here is always the same, with things again like; ‘oh go on, treat yourself’ and ‘we’re all having one’, but also likely to include ‘you don’t need to lose weight, you look great’ or ‘just one little bit won’t hurt’. The pressure to have the cheesecake has now been increased.
Since your decision to not eat the cheesecake is based on making a lifestyle change (to lose weight), it means that you are setting yourself apart from the rest of the social group. This could give you some discomfort as explained earlier, but what isn’t generally considered is the fact that by you making changes, it highlights to your friends that they are not. In the example here, it highlights to them that they are not making changes to lose weight and so are likely to remain unhappy with their situation. The fact that they said about eating the cheesecake anyway, shows that subconsciously they want you to remain the same as them and not lose any weight, even though that is what they would actually like to do. Subconsciously your friends are literally saying ‘we don’t want you to change, stay like us’.
So, when you announce that you are starting your own business or joining a network marketing company, your friends opinions can be like; ‘it’s a scam’, it’ll be a lot of work’, ‘these things don’t usually work’ or ‘are you sure that it’s really your thing?’, what they are really saying subconsciously is ‘we don’t want you to change and be successful, stay mediocre like us’.
So in summary, you need to be aware that when you speak with those closest to you about starting a new business, your friends opinions should only be taken lightly and not used as critical feedback on your progress. Whilst the things they say may not consciously be intended as negative towards you, it is most likely that they are coming from a negative place. This doesn’t in any way mean that your colleagues, friends and family are not being supportive; it just means you must realise that what they are saying is coming from a subconscious desire to keep you the same as them and not make the changes you want to achieve success. This is why your friends can actually be your worst enemies.
When starting your home business, what experiences with comments from close friends have you had?
I hope that you have got some value out of this post and if so, please share with your team or anybody else that you feel may find it useful.
Making your success my goal!
All the best
Home Business Leader
Paddock Wood, UK